Journal

I admit it, I have been ignoring my journal lately. The reason is yet another technical issue; could we please have something on the internet that is not beset by problems? I was trying to set up this website in a way that would make it easier to find what brought you here, what interests you. When I asked if it was possible, I was told, "Yes." It is possible however it creates problems which defeats the goal of simplifying the website for users. It is now a large task to undo the small change I made and to be honest, if I wanted to do technical work online I would be working for a tech company. So I have been avoiding my journal. Time has also been a factor but more on that in another post.

Most of us with older siblings have received castoff or passed-down clothing and it can be the bane of younger siblings. Even though I had new clothing as the youngest child, as my siblings did as well, it seems I always muckled onto an old shirt of my fathers. It was a comfort thing, sort of my security blanket. I suspect hand-me-downs are all the more common amongst transgender people.

Firstly let me just mention that I have done basically nothing to transform physically since recognizing myself as a transperson. True I have transitioned but this has not been physical. Some may argue that I grew my hair long but even when trying very hard to present as male I often let my hair grow long, a cause that was mired in my past and combined with the lack of options at what was then my present. When you take into account I had been growing my hair out for years before realizing I am trans, this argument falls apart completely. We may discuss this at another time but today is about something else. Most of my visible transition has been wardrobe and to a lesser degree, makeup. However, today I was thinking I may soon be able to have some hair removal started which resulted in me thinking about physical transitioning.

I did my nails today1, hardly newsworthy, right? Not a "stop the presses moment. Yet for me it was a rather noteworthy action. You see, lately I have been neglecting myself a wee bit and my feminine self in particular. I have not been feeling well, I have not been getting enough sleep this week and have some new health concerns to boot. I dream of a day when I will finally be able to live my life free of health concerns but I am afraid that at this point in my life it is never going to happen. That ship sailed long ago. Add to that the latest wrinkles in trying to finally close my fathers estate and it has not been the best time to prioritize my appearance nor my femininity.

"He was in that awkward area between the closet and being truly out." C.P.O. Daniel (Dan) Oleson - The Girl in the Tank by R. I. Eliason, Part 1 of The Galactic Consortium.

Homophobia is what you get when you leave idiots in charge of your language.

Being Jamie Lee: Is our anniversary today, a week from now or in three months time? Is this blog a month old, a few weeks or a decade? Stay tuned, I'll let you know when the time comes1. A rambling history of how this site came to be the site you see today.

I am hiking again with my hiking partner, an update on that last hike.

Is it possible to break up if only one of us is dating?

A new approach to an old idea.